Why I'm Still Teaching...

This has been a really rough year so far. I haven't been posting much because I haven't wanted to complain. Also, I'm totally exhausted after spending all day with 29 kiddos and then coming home and being "Mama" to a pretty demanding 2 year old.

This year has tested pretty much every ideal about teaching that I have. I've had to question whether or not I want to stay in my district because of the direction they are going, if I feel I can still be successful in spite of the huge class size I'm facing, if I think Maelin is still thriving in daycare, and tons of other reasons that have exhausted me every day this year but have nothing to do with this current post.

I went into the office today to complain about one of my behavior problem kids. This kid is going to test every iota of patience and knowledge that I have this year. He was born addicted to meth and there's just not a lot of research out there to help us fully address all his needs. Add that to the fact that our special ed team is basically non-existent this year and I'm on my own with him. Add 28 other kiddos to that mix and you have a disaster waiting to happen.

Anyway, I was in a very bad mood and I happened to check my mailbox. There was a photocopy of a writing assignment inside. Obviously, another teacher had assigned a writing assignment and had copied the result and placed it in my box. (mental note: thank her tomorrow). This is what I read:

"Special People: Mrs. Corzine
Mrs. Corzine has always been there for me. When I went through good times and bad times. When I have a problem she's the one that's always there to help me solve them. She was my brothers teacher and also mine. She was my second grade teacher. She's the nicest teacher I've had. I love her. I go visit her in the morning to help her around. I just wish she was still my teacher. Plus I never leave without giving her a hug. My mom and me always bake her a cake for her birthday because it's on Valentines Day. Mrs. Corzine will always and forever be my favorite teacher."

by Litzy

This is from a 4th grader. I had her 2 years ago and I had her brother 4 years ago. Of course I remember her and love her (as I do almost all my old students) but I NEVER thought I'd affected her this much.

Teaching is a thankless profession. We go to work every day, pay our student loans, accept the criticisms of society on everything we do wrong and are still expected to do it perfectly every day. Well, we're not perfect. We stumble, we fall, we yell. We are ashamed of the times we lose our cool and proud of the times we actually were able to get through to a student. However, most of the time, we're not sure anything we ever say makes a difference.

Today was a day that I felt what I do every day actually matters. I feel like this little girl will grow into the person she's meant to be partly because of me. I feel like some of values and love I gave her every day actually stuck. She'll remember me as she grows and hopefully (crossing fingers here) will beat the odds of poverty and immigration and she'll come back to visit me in 15 years as the first Mexican Female Senator of Colorado. Or a Civil Rights Lawyer. Or a doctor.

Or a teacher.

I can dream. That's why I'm still teaching. For this dream. A little bit of it was realized today.