We Made It Through Our First Day...

It was as hard as I thought it would be, but also better. I was a complete wreck all day. Every time I would get immersed in work, someone would pop in my room and ask to see pictures of the baby or ask me how I was feeling. I'd start crying immediately (not sobbing, just teary-eyed). Finally, one of my friends told everyone to stop asking me how I was doing because it was making me worse. That's true.

Maelin was great. She was happy, kicking, laughing and perfectly content all day. The worst part for her was the heat at Sondra's house and how early I had to wake her up. She was a little champ. The darling did great.

I was another story. I kept thinking about her and even though we called to check on her and I knew she was just fine, I missed her horribly. You can't spend 24 hours a day for 4 1/2 months with your new baby and be fine the first time she's gone all day.

But we made it through. It was great to be back at school again. We got a new literacy curriculum that I'm really excited about and there's a lot of new things happening this year, so it should be an exciting time. All my teachers are super supportive and we have an amazing staff and principal (she won Elementary Principal of the Year last year), so I'm really lucky to have such a great job. However...

It's just not natural for a mommy to leave her baby all day every day. It's not right. When we got home, poor baby was exhausted from the day so we took a nap together. I woke up before she did and just stared at her. I felt like I didn't know her as well as I knew her yesterday. It's going to be a struggle to spend enough time with her, to keep the house running, to visit with Kevin once in a while, and to still see my friends. How do people do it?

It's going to continue to be the hardest thing I ever do to leave her every day...but at least she's in a loving place where I don't have to worry about her. I just have to deal with the constant ache in my heart where she used to be every day.