Summertime Fun

Oh, but we're having a busy, fun summer! Even though we've spent most of the summer so far helping out Aunt Heather, we've managed to squeeze in some fun. Now that we are getting into our groove, we're having a great time!

We've joined a music class. In true Maelin fashion, we don't really do what the teacher wants us to do: ie, we don't listen, follow directions, spin or dance when we're supposed to. We do that just when we want to and when we're darn good and ready for it! It's really cute. The other thing that cracks me up during music class is that there's a little girl who totally loves Maelin but Maelin could care less: she loves the boys. Alex and Adam, specifically. She follows them around while the little girl follows Mae around. It's hilarious. Kevin and I are in trouble when Mae is a teenager, that's for sure.

As we have memberships to both the Children's Museum and the Denver Zoo, we've been having a great time at both places. It's so nice to have a membership and to live so close: you can go for a couple of hours a couple of times a week and not feel like you're wasting any money. Maelin LOVES both of them and starts squealing when we get close to either of them: she knows exactly where she's going and asks for them by name "Mu-zee-m!" or "--ippos" when she wakes up in the morning. We're also very lucky to have some great friends who are also off for the summer and have been meeting us at the zoo or museum: Maelin's best friends Makenzy and Andrew. They are 7 and 5 and they love Maelin as much as she loves them. She follows them around and they are super sweet with her and they all adore each other. She's so lucky.

We've also been hanging out with family quite a bit (for obvious reasons). Aunt Heather is recovering nicely and in the meantime, Auntie Vanessa was out visiting from Seattle and Nana is on her way from MN and our Uncle and Aunt from Florida were here this week. This is their first visit in 10 years so we were very excited to introduce Maelin to them.

One sad note: Aunt Kat and Uncle Jeff are going away for a while. Aunt Kat will be gone for a month and Uncle Jeff will be gone for about 9 days. We'll really miss them. However, they'll be in Germany, Austria and Prague so I'm sure we'll be getting some really choice gifts to make up for their long absence! :-)

I adore summertime. I love getting to know my little girl again, I love hanging out with my friends without having to worry about work, I love knowing what Maelin does all day long and I LOVE being the one who wakes up with her, gets her breakfast, plays all day, lays with her during naps, picks her up when she falls, cleans her boo-boos and is the one who cuddles with her at night. Although 10 months out of my life are extremely stressful and crazy, these 2 months are so amazing and I'm loving every minute of it!


Going into the pool at Kat and Jeff's house...not quite sure we like it yet!


"MaeMae Painting!" at the Children's Museum


Uncle was putting the cone on his head to make Mae laugh and Maelin loves him so much, she just had to try it herself!


Mae and I at cousin Coely's 3rd bday party...she loved his birthday cake!


Maelin and the firedog at the Museum...she calls that "Fire Hat!"


Riding "Brownie" at our Aunt Laura's house...


Maelin looking very stylish in her new playhouse (wearing her cousins' apron)


Riding "zeee-bra!" at the zoo


Maelin and her best friends: Andrew and Makenzy at the zoo


Quite a bit of our family: my dad and his wife, Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Monika, my grandpa, Aunt Laura, Kat, Jeff, Heather, Kevin, Maelin and I.


Maelin at Boulder Creek...no, I did not let her get in the water but she had a great time watching the tubers!

Fun Times at the Zoo

We've been spending quality time at the zoo lately. Since Heather has been released from the hospital and is resting comfortably at my dad's house (and getting great care over there, by the way), Maelin and I have finally been able to enjoy a little bit of summertime.

Kat and Jeff gave us a zoo pass for Mae's birthday and we've been putting it to good use. Mae LOVES the zoo. She asks for the animals by name and she starts squealing the second we start getting close to parking. She starts yelling, "ZOO! ZOO!" and starts giggling. Then the minute we get inside, she's running off towards her favorites: the "Ippos" and "el-phants". We usually ride the train and she sits there and pats my knee and is just all smiles.

Here's a couple of pictures from the zoo. Honestly, I have tons more but I haven't had time to download them off of my camera lately, so I'll put a whole bunch of summer-fun pics up soon. Enjoy!

Our Little Artist

Finally got around to taking Maelin back to the Children's Museum this past week. Heather is at my dad's house resting and Mae and I went to go play for a bit. Although we've been going to the Children's Museum since Mae was about 9 months old, this was the first time I thought she was ready to explore her inner artist.

She LOVED painting. One of my best friends Emily is an artist AND she has the same birthday as Maelin, so we've always been looking for similarities to Emily as she grows. How much she loved to paint is a pretty big one that we thought was great. I took this painting home and framed it. It's in our room now and every time Mae sees it, she says, "Mae painting?" and is super proud.

I love summer and how much time it gives me to get to know my little girl again. She's so much fun and awesome company!

Cancer Surgery Update

My sister has had her surgery and is now on the slow road to recovery. Her surgery actually went better than was expected: it only lasted 6 hours and she didn't have any affected lymph nodes on the right side of her neck like the surgeon had originally thought. Therefore, she has only lost all feeling on the left side of her neck. That's a really good thing. Her scar is smaller than they thought it would be as well.

She's resting now. Her pain level is an average of 4 (from 1-10) and we're all taking turns being here at the hospital with her. Maelin is not handling this very well: she woke up screaming this morning and is extremely clingy and upset. She can tell something is happening and mommy just isn't around like she is supposed to be.

There are so many heart-warming stories I could share with you about all this. I could tell you about the friend who drove 2 hours to bring my family dinner (complete with desert and wine) while we were waiting in the ICU during Heather's surgery. I could tell you about the countless messages of support we've all received...most from people we barely know. I could tell you about the wonderful care and love we've gotten from the outstanding nurses and doctors who are so critical to Heather's recovery. I could tell you about the coffee that was delivered late at night for us, the help with Maelin that's been offered, the dinners that have been yet to be cooked but are on their way, the housecleaning that's coming and the hundreds of messages of "We're thinking of you" that my family has received.

It's amazing and humbling. Every time I open my email or check my phone, there's more of them. People have offered to give up their precious resources and free time to come to the hospital and show my family a bit of their generosity and spirit.

To all of you I offer a very heart-felt "THANK YOU" from Heather, my parents, my siblings and I. We couldn't have made it through this as well as we have without you. The road to recovery for Heather is going to be long and painful but it will be brightened by all of you.

A Scary Time Ahead...

I come from a rather large family. Not crazy "18 Kids and Counting" large, but large by today's standards. We have 4 kids in our family and my dad's family had 5, so we have all sorts of wonderful aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. So we're a loud and crazy bunch (emphasis on the loud...)

We've always been really lucky to be really close to each other. Even though we were raised by a crazy religion that kept us somewhat isolated from everyone, family has always been very important to all of us and we've kept in close contact. I'm happy to say that even though we're too loud, too much in each others' business, nosy, and crazy, we've never really had too much serious drama or sadness.

Oh sure, we've all had our problems. We were very sad to lose our Aunt Cacky to a brain tumor about 9 years ago. My mom has battled different health issues over the years but for the most part, we've all been really lucky to be healthy and happy.

This week is going to put all that to the test...at least for a little bit. My older sister Heather was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer and is undergoing a major surgery on Friday. For more information about this, (I'm calling it PTC for short), click here. My sister has always been really healthy: nothing major ever wrong with her. She has 2 boys: a 5 year old and a 3 year old and is in the middle of getting divorced. Which makes the timing of this just evil. She is still on her ex's health insurance for now, but for how long remains to be seen.

So anyway, she's undergoing a 9-12 hour surgery on Friday. They have discovered some lymph nodes in her neck that have been affected by the cancer so they need to going to remove them before they spread further. They are going to cut her neck from ear to ear and slowly remove all the infected lymph nodes, her thyroid, and try to put her back together as best they can.

She has a 4% chance of never talking again. She is also facing being on thyroid medications for the rest of her life. There will be "extensive damage" to the nerves in her neck and shoulders and she'll have to go through physical therapy to rebuild the muscles and nerves there. She will have to have radioactive iodine inserted into her neck to try to kill any other cancerous growths that the surgeon isn't able to remove. There are other problems that are possible but to be honest, I try not to think about them too much. You can do your own research if you're curious.

One good thing is at this point, it doesn't look like she'll need chemo or radiation. They are planning to have her in the ICU for about 2 days and then in the hospital for a week. After that, she's planning on coming to Denver (she lives about 1 hour north of us in a small town) to stay with my dad so he can help take care of her and there will be a safe place for the boys.

I'm really starting to get nervous for her. I know she reads this, so I'm staying positive, but honestly...my family has been so lucky health-wise in the past that I really don't know how to best be there for her. I'm going with her on Tuesday afternoon for a full-body PET scan to see if the cancer is anywhere else in her body and I'm going on Wednesday to meet with her surgeon for her pre-op appointment, but that's about all I know how to do. Just being there helps, I guess.

Cancer is such a scary word. You hear it and you immediately think "death" even though people beat it all the time. I'm so sad and mad about this: why does my healthy, young sister who has 2 young sons to take care of have to go through this? Why are we worrying about whether or not she'll be able to talk? Or as she says...she doesn't want us running a race in her honor. (a bit of joke but somewhat true.) Instead of enjoying the start of my hard-earned summer vacation with Maelin, I'm scheduling who is going to stay overnight with her in the hospital each night. I'm arranging where family members who are flying in are going to stay. I'm figuring out where to put Maelin while I'm with Heather during the surgery and afterwards. I'm not planning anything for her recovery time in case something comes up and she needs me. It is all-consuming and only goes away when you're sleeping.

I've always been the "care-taker" in my family. Maybe it's because I'm the middle child, maybe it's because it's just in my nature, maybe it's because I like to be busy and have things to do so everyone has just expected me to fall into that role. Up until now, I didn't mind that job. I liked knowing what was going on with everyone and helping to take care of everyone and being the planner in the family. However, I'm finding the role to be overwhelming and exhausting now. Heather needs me now more than she ever has and although I will ALWAYS be there for her no matter what, there are times I just don't know what to say. She will call me immediately when she finds out some more (seems like it's always) bad news and my first impulse is to freak out right along with her and burst into tears. That's not being a care-taker though so I stop myself, think of positive things to say and calm her down a bit. Then I hang up the phone and start to hyper-ventilate. I refuse to let her know how worried I am about her (she'll know now though... :-) while she's processing the scary new information so I keep it inside.

My good friend told me the other day that I needed to take a small step back from the care-taker roll and let other people help. She said it was starting to affect me and I needed to allow myself to feel the fear and the sadness about this...it's okay not to be the strong, stoic one all the time. I don't know how to do that but I think she's right. I'm going to try.

Aunt Kat is going to come along on Wed for the pre-op appt so Heather and I aren't there all by ourselves. Kat is going to help ask questions and help keep us both calm because I don't think we can do it by ourselves anymore. We're too involved: Heather is worried for her life and I'm worried for her. That's not a good combination when you're supposed to be calm and reasonable and asking intelligent questions.

So there you go. I might do a post or two this week if I find myself alone during the surgery on Friday with nothing to do. Maelin will be in daycare or with friends so at least I won't have to worry about her. I'll be spending most of the next 2 weeks spending the nights in the hospital with Heather so she's not alone with her thoughts...that can be pretty scary. We'll try to laugh through the pain and the fear and I KNOW we'll come out okay.

I'm scared...but the care-taker in me knows that this is just something yucky we have to get through. We WILL get through it and our family will go on being as loud and crazy as ever.

I know it.



Heather and I partying it up on New Years

Starting Her Out Right...

Everyone who knows us knows that Kevin enjoys his video games. However, he's been really good about not playing them when Maelin is awake. The one exception to this is Guitar Hero. We tend to break that out when Uncle Jeff is over or when Cousin Peter is in town visiting. Then it's Guitar Hero all the time. Honestly, it doesn't usually even get turned off.

It seems that Maelin has picked up the nuances of Guitar Hero. Kevin is so proud...

Wordless Tuesday Picture

Bet you can guess where this was taken...

Field Day

We had a great field day today! It started out pretty gloomy: very cloudy and misty like it was going to rain any minute. The kiddos were a bit disappointed because it seemed like field day may actually be canceled. However, things brightened up when...

Sgt. Alex from the Air Force and 4 other officers came back to hang out with us! For those of you who remember, Sgt. Alex and the Air Force officers are so important to my kids. They were the ones who answered my call for school supplies, clothes, toys and games last Christmas. They showed up in my classroom in December with all sorts of games, toys, presents, etc. and brought us all to tears. For a recap of that amazing day, click here.

So we were getting ready to go outside to Field Day today and who showed up again?? Sgt. Alex and his friends! My kiddos cheered and cheered and we all went outside. We had a great time. The kids had so much fun doing all the different games and relays and the officers did them right along with us. We all played tug-of-war together and the potato sack relay and climbed the rock wall and gave high-fives to the winners and cheered everyone on. We had a great day.

I just love how some adults answer the call to help our kids. The kiddos I teach are amongst the "have-nots" in our society and it breaks my heart every day that I can't help them more than I can. I love that just by giving up a little of their time, these officers are making a huge difference in the lives of these kids. Every child in my room was beaming and feeling special and important because these very important men took time out of their lives to spend with them.

Days like these I love my job. There's no where else I'd rather be.

Thanks Sgt. Alex, Sgt. Troy, Sgt. Chad, Cptn. Levi and Cptn. Jacob. These kids will remember you forever. And so will I.

Mama is Not "Otay"

I've got pneumonia again. Yup. Last time it hit me when I was totally run-down and stressed out and exhausted. It's like a bad memory: hits you when you're most vulnerable to it. Click here for a recap of the last time I was down with this...

This time is harder than last time though. Last time I didn't have a rambunctious 2 year old hanging on me that demands you keep up with her. Last time wasn't the end of the school year where I just can't take a day off because of all the stuff I still have to do. This time I just can't seem to feel better. All I do is lay on the couch and cough, move to the bed and cough, move to the chair and cough and doze. It's awful. In the meantime, I can't breathe. My lips are purple and I'm coughing violently every 20 minutes or so. My whole body is sore from the coughing and I just can't seem to shake it.

Good thing it's a 3 day weekend and I don't have to go back to work till Tuesday. However, with the way this is looking, I'll be surprised if I make it back to work next week at all. I feel that awful.

One bright spot: Maelin has not caught this yet. She's just as healthy and crazy as ever. However, she started imitating my coughing today. She says, "Mama coughin" and then goes, "ack ack". No sweetie: don't imitate sick Mama. That makes me sad...

Wow...Almost Forgot I Even Had A Blog

10 days since my last post. I blame the following:

1) Have crazy awful cold that sent me to Urgent Care last week and will possibly land me in the ER tonight. I've been coughing like crazy: violent coughs that aren't getting better and come about every 10 minutes. I even had to pull over on I-25 yesterday on my way to work because I was afraid I was going to crash us. Maelin was in the back saying to me, "Mama otay?" over and over. Haven't slept more than 1 hour at a time since Saturday night.

2) Crazy busy time at work. Have two field trips, Literacy Plans due, reading tests, math tests, computer and language tests, writing tests, report cards, committee meeting after committee meeting. Typical end-of-the-year craziness. This is what is preventing me from taking a day off to rest from this vicious, horrible cough.

3) We've been trying to get the yard up and going for Maelin. We spent last weekend weeding, planting flowers, and generally cleaning up after the years of neglect from the former owners. They didn't do a darn thing for years so we have a pretty good battle ahead of us to get the yard the way we want it. However...we still have a killer view of both downtown and the mountains from our backyard, so I'm not complaining.

4) Auntie Vanessa is coming into town this weekend for a quick visit! She's really coming to see her friends (they bought her ticket) so we won't get to spend a whole lot of time with her but that's ok. She's planning on coming back in June, so we'll see her again soon.

So for those of you who are wanting your Maelin fix: I have a 3-day weekend coming up so I should have some time to post the latest pictures of her. Gotta warn you though: she's super cute lately, so there may be quite a few of them!

The Beauty of Rain Boots

Need we say more.....

How I Continue To Breathe

I'm exhausted. Utterly exhausted. My day today was crazy. I had duty this morning so I had to race to get to school on time. I was in a PBS conference all day yesterday so I had to clean up from the sub. Additionally, I am in charge of the scrapbook we are giving our principal as a good-bye present so I spent 2 hours making that this morning (as I was running literacy centers: good thing my kiddos have learned how to take directions well!). Then I had a meeting with a parent. Then I worked through lunch as I have a school-visit on Monday and have to get sub plans ready. Then I taught the kids how to add quarters and half-dollars. Then I had a meeting with the interm-principal and the PBS team. Then I had to get the room cleaned up and the kiddos out the door. Then I had to set up my room for the Volunteer Appreciation Tea we host every year. Then I had to race downtown to pick up Maelin. Then we played at the mall for a while. Then I came home and she "helped" me water the flowers. ("Mae Mae do it!!" as she gets the hose and puts water everywhere). Then I got her ready for bed and sang to her while she fell asleep. Then I started some laundry. Then I worked on her 2 Year Questionnaire for her 2-year check up next week. Then I pulled out my laptop and started working on my latest book orders.

Then I stopped. I just wanted to sit still for a minute. Whenever I'm totally stressed out and lose sight of what really matters to me, this picture is what I think about. (I should preface this with no, it's not a picture of MaeMae. Of course she's the most important thing in the entire world to me and is the reason I do what I do every day and is my reason for continuing to breathe...) but she's not what I thought about tonight as I forced myself to breathe. This picture below is what I thought about:


I took this shot in Sorrento, Italy in 2005 when I went for a week with my girlfriends. Sorrento is on the Amafli Coast: directly across the bay from Naples and just up the coast from Positiano (the famous hill town featured in lots of movies..."Under the Tuscan Sun" had a bunch of scenes there). Anyway, this is my FAVORITE town in Italy. Bar none. Even beats out Venice. This shot was taken around 9pm as we were heading out to dinner. You can walk everywhere in Sorrento and it is the lemoncello capital of Italy. Never indulged in this Italian treat? You are missing out. Next time you are at a real Italian restaurant (Olive Garden doesn't count), check the dessert menu for this treat. Order it COLD and with an espresso. Alternate sips between the cold, alcoholic, lemony-sweetness and the bitter heat of the espresso and oh...you will be experiencing just a small amount of the true Italian lifestyle.

So why do I think about this picture when I'm insanely crazed and busy? Because it grounds me. After the time I spent teaching in Italy, I learned how to stop and just take it all in. Italians do not rush around like we do. They can't do errands at lunch because everything is closed for siesta. No biggie...I'll just go home and drink some wine or birra (beer) and wait for them to open tomorrow. Busy at work? Too bad...it's time to go home and I'm going so I can spend time with my family and drink some more wine or lemoncello.

This picture reminds me of what is important because when I see it, I'm instantly transported away from my crazy classroom. Away from the bills I still need to pay, the Mother's Day card that is going to be late getting to my mom this year. Away from the laundry and away from the "should dos", "could dos" and "need to dos." It brings me back to the place where I am sitting on a sidewalk cafe with my lemoncello and my espresso watching the sunset. Watching the old men play checkers. Watching the children play with the dogs as their "nonnas" water the flowers that are hanging off of their balconies. The sun is setting behind me, the breeze is blowing, the smell of lemons, flowers and the sea is in the air and no one is rushing to be anywhere because everyone is just where they want to be.

Exactly where they are. No one is forcing themselves to breathe here.