Thank You...Just Thank You

So, in 2007, I thought I'd write an email asking all of you to help me fulfill some of my kiddo's Christmas wishes. I thought if I got enough to buy each kid a book, I'd be doing an amazing amount of good. You surprised me though: I got an amazing response from all over the country. I was able to get each of my kids a gift that year.

So, in 2008, I tried again. And again...you responded in force. Not only did you send an unprecedented amount of gifts, money, and toys, but Sgt. Walker from the Air Force picked up my email and came with gifts for my class.

So, in 2009, I tried again. That year: we were able to give the ENTIRE 2nd grade (all 100+ kids) gifts. It's been that way ever since. This year: Merino High School also came with money, books, and donations for our ENTIRE SCHOOL. Never underestimate your power: I am living proof that I had a "dream" that my little 2nd graders would get 1 or 2 Christmas gifts and it blew up into something that I had never imagined. Celebrities tweeted about it and sent amazing gifts. People from all over the world (I had gift cards arrive from Holland, Germany, and Italy) sent books, school supplies, money, and the Air Force came like never before. All of you: my family and friends; sent your clothes, you held fund raisers, your children sent their birthday cards, children made ornaments and sold them to buy my kids gifts, offices gave of their time to come visit and bring the kids socks and flash cards, and too many other generous and wondrous gifts to count.

Please click here for a link to the main gift drive. Then click here for a link to the Air Force taking all of their (and YOUR) donations to Bryan's house (little boy in my class who is suffering from a brain tumor) on a day that I had a tragedy prevent me from going. That is a little boy whose last Christmas will be the most joyous he has ever known. Because of all of you.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. These children will never be the same. And neither will I.

Christmas Drive Update

This is an incredibly humbling post to write and I've been putting it off for a few days as I was waiting till I felt I had the "right" words of appreciation, or the phrase that would express "enough" how amazing all of you are. I just don't think there are any words that can tell you how generous and full of love you all have proved to me that you are. Even those of you who I've never met.

Please click here for the previous post I sent out to everyone in the beginning of November. I had asked for help from all of you to provide a "gift or two" for my class of 24 2nd graders. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what has been pouring, (yes, in waves) into the office and my inbox for the last few weeks. Countless people from all over the world have stepped up and donated their time, their resources, their money, their own kids' clothes, books, services for families in need, gift wrapping and distribution help, and much, much more. Below is a quick list of all the wonderful, generous, and amazing help I've received since November...I hope it astounds and touches you as much as it has me. It has, and continues to bring me to tears.

*Gift cards to Target in amounts from $5 up to $100 from people all over the world. One little boy sent me his birthday card he had saved from Target because he told his mom, "Those kids need it more than I do." I've also received checks, money orders, and cash from everyone to my close friends and family, to strangers from as far away as Rome and Amsterdam.

*The University of Colorado Health Center gathered boots, coats, books, and random toys for all the kids.

*An office here in Commerce City gathered their workers together to donate flash cards for all the kids.

*Leah Rimini (star of King of Queens) was informed of this over Twitter and immediately asked all her fans to help my class. Within 3 days, she and her friend Sonya had created a gift list with pajamas, toys, crayons, and flash cards for every single child and it was fullfilled by all of Leah's fans from all over the world. Click here to see the link...

*I've received gift cards to have a pizza party for the kiddos in the future.

*So many of you have contacted me personally and have arranged specific donations based on the kids' needs. There are boxes and boxes and boxes in the office filled with boots, coats, books, school supplies, blankets for every kid, socks, underwear, backpacks, and so much more. The stack of boxes is incredible!

*A book party was held in UT for my kiddos and every single child will be receiving their very own hardcover book based on their reading level. They raised enough funds for that AND books to be donated to our school library so the whole school can enjoy them.

*A church in VA was able to collect over $1,000 for Bryan, my child who is very ill with brain cancer. This will go towards food, transportation, clothes, and gifts for him and his three brothers for the next several months. The Boulder Running Company is also dontaing custom shoes for him and his family.

*The USAF here at Buckley Air Force Base adopted the entire 2nd grade (all 92 kids) and have written individual letters to each child, have gotten gifts like hoodies, toys, socks, playground equipment, etc. for the ENTIRE 2nd grade. Not just my class. Not only that, but they are coming in uniform next week with Santa himself to give the kids their gifts and to spread some holiday joy before the kiddos leave for the break.

*A 8th grader in Boulder raised money by selling ornaments she made herself to buy each child a gift bag with oranges, toothbrushes, mittens, books, etc. She didn't have enough to fill each bag with what she wanted, so she went to her school's PTA and asked them to make up the difference. They happily did so.

*A junior women's league is coming next week to help me start wrapping all the gifts. They are staying late after school every day to be sure it gets done in time and I wasn't doing it all by myself.

*I still get to go shopping this weekend with all the gift cards you have sent. I plan to "fill in the gaps" and be sure every child has shoes that fit, jeans that aren't too short, a warm coat, and possibly a toy or two. This shopping trip is always the highlight of my entire year!

...and there are so many more stories still to come.

Seeing all of this written down has again brought me to tears. There just aren't enough words to describe how amazing the kindness and generosity of complete strangers are to a school of kiddos whom you've never met. I will be posting pictures all next week as we give the kids their gifts, so be sure to be checking back often.

I wonder if all of you who sent even $5 have any idea of what the power of your gift is going to do. As I sit here writing this in my heated classroom (after having to hug a little boy this morning for 10 minutes to warm him up because he had to walk to school in the 8 degree weather with no coat), I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. You have made an extreme difference in the lives of these kids. It's something they will NEVER forget.

And neither will I. Happy Holidays to all of you.

Mara

The Power of a Moldy Carpet

..."I will be unconventional. I will choose which rules to bend/break to ensure that every child has the best possibility of a future. I won't become discouraged by the politics, or the families, or by my own circumstances. I will be passionate. I will always rejoice at the smallest accomplishment...as that proves I am giving my best. Most of all, I won't be afraid to try new things and to keep learning. The kids in my care deserve that from me." --Mara Kimling, June 2003

I was going through my work files last week and stumbled upon a letter a professor had me write to myself years ago back when I was taking my graduate course work for my teaching license. I know that sounds crazy. It was dated June of 2003. I had to stop and think for a minute on why she would have had us do such a silly thing. Then I remembered: she was one of the best teachers I had ever had. She inspired. She motivated. Most of all, she lead by example. I remembered she told us that teaching was a hard, hard job and 1/2 of all new teachers leave the profession before 5 years. She said it was thankless and lonely. She said we would never be rich. She said while we were young, fresh, and excited, she wanted us to write a letter to ourselves telling ourselves WHY we were choosing this profession. She said to pour our hearts out. Then she took the letters from us and mailed them to us exactly....you guessed it...one year into teaching.

I remember getting this letter and barely glancing at it. I remember I was fresh out of my first year of teaching and I was so exhausted, the thought of reading something else made me feel sick. I remember I scanned it, thought about it for all of 2 minutes, and filed it away. And there it stayed. For the last 7 years.

I've had a pretty bad problem with water leaks in my classroom. My file cabinet has grown a lovely case of mold and mildew. One day after play practice last week, I decided to go through it and try to get rid of the stuff I didn't need anymore. I came across this letter buried in a file folder labeled "New Teacher Stuff." (very eloquent, I know.) I opened it for nostalgia sake. Then read it. And read it again. And read it again.

Then I sat down in a haze of tears. I remembered how excited I was then. Before the pressures of student loans, politics, parents, unmotivated students, roofs that leak, kids that physically attack you, low salaries, technology that never works, criticism from society, unrealistic district and state expectations, and most of all...my own life problems that affect my daily moods. I wondered where "that" Mara has gone. The one who wrote about rejoicing and celebrating the small things. The one who woke up every day excited for the possibility that TODAY may be the day that Brenda finally gets it. Or that my autistic kid will make eye-contact with me. Or that Shania will tell me she's going to be a doctor and it's all because of me. Or a grandma will come find me to give me a hug to tell me how much of an influence I've been on her grandkids and thank you so much.

I've been gone for a while. I'm not sure when exactly I made my exit, but I think it has happened gradually, or my evaluations (which are always good, thank goodness) would have suffered by now. I sat on the moldy floor of my room and held the letter in my hands for quite a while. I wondered what I could do to bring myself back. If there was anything...

Later that night, I thought about when I was the happiest teaching. Family and friends have been telling me for a long time to leave this school district and get a job somewhere "easier." Somewhere closer to home. In a school where every child does his homework, every parent is involved, there's no kids doing pole dances, parents in jail, or 2nd graders reading at a kindergarten level and no one seems to give a crap about it. I thought about that and my answer to them has always been that I like it here and I've established a good name for myself here, and it's safe. But is that the truth?

The truth is I love it here. I love the dirty kids I get. I love that a smile from me might be the only smile they get all day and I have a REAL possibility here to affect them in ways I wouldn't in an "easier" school. So what else can I do to get that spark back that has been lost for so long?

It hit me hard when the answer of what to do came to me. I was happiest when I was teaching AND in school, finishing my MA. I love college. I love the discussions, I love the reading, I love researching and finding out something new. I love learning something in class on Tuesday night and being able to implement it in my classroom Wednesday morning and seeing immediate benefit from it. I've never given myself license to think about going back to school before because I already have my MA...what else could I do? A PhD in education seems silly, so I never thought about it until now. Until...a glass of wine, a friend, and an internet search provided an answer.

I'm going back to school for my Reading/Writing/Elementary Literacy Endorsement. It's about 27 credits (or 9 MA-Level classes) and when I'm finished, I'll have the option to become a Literacy Coach. Or an Intervention Specialist. Or an Instructional Coach. Or, I can use my new skills to be sure I am providing amazing reading instruction to my classroom of kiddos. In this district here in Commerce City.

So I'm going through a tedious and rushed application process to get accepted to the University of Colorado-Denver in time for the January semester. All of this happened so quickly, that I barely had time to register any of it until yesterday afternoon when I was on campus meeting with my academic advisor. I got all the paperwork I need to complete this weekend and threw my backpack over my shoulder and left the building to go pick Maelin up from preschool...

There was an amazing sunset last night. (really, it was crazy awesome...multiple people posted pictures of it on Facebook, but I digress...) I was walking through the campus that I have spent over 8 years of my life on and I know so well. I know the shortcuts and the hiding spots. I know the cheapest parking lots. I know which buildings have the best burrito dudes. I know every inch of the library, the gym, and the education department. I have worked closely with many of the professors and they smile at me when they see me in the halls there. As I was walking through the campus watching the sun set below the mountains and thinking about everyone and everything in my life that has gotten me to this point...

I was happy. I was confident. I was amazingly excited for what was to come. Imagine me: someone who didn't even graduate from high school with a Masters in Elementary Mental Health (turns out I had a 3.96 gpa that I was reminded about last night from my advisor) with an added Instructional Literacy endorsement. That puts me 10 credits below a PhD.

I'm already feeling better about the direction my life is going. I've decided to go for something that is going to make me happy, fulfilled, excited, confident, and most of all, an extremely effective master teacher. I'm not going to sit around and let the grass grow under my feet and allow myself to fall any further into the "woe is me...my job is so hard and no one appreciates teachers anymore" hole. That hole sucks. And it's not who I am.

As I've been in tears for the last few weeks due to many things going on including how stressful (but amazing!) the Christmas Gift Drive is turning out to be, (another post on that soon), I've decided to follow my own advice. That I wrote over 8 years ago...

"...If it's important to you, you will find a way. If not...you'll find an excuse."