Busy Weekend...Without Baby! :-(

Those of you who know me well know that I HATE doing anything without Maelin. Call it Working-Mommy Guilt, call it obsession, call it whatever you want but I hate being without my little one when I don't have to be.

It's been a real struggle to remember that I have a life too and Maelin deserves other people in her life besides me. Her life will be so much richer for the experiences and knowledge that other people can give to her. She can only get that if I'm not around.

So, even though I'm sick at the thought of missing even a minute of my precious time with Miss MaeMae before she's all grown up, I'm doing what I hope! good mommies do and I'm going this weekend to have some fun without Maelin.

Saturday morning at 7am: White Water Rafting!!! One of the best reasons to live in CO is this sport. Never mind I crushed my left knee in 1995 doing this...it's sooooo much fun and I can't wait. My dad has some friend who's a certified rafting guide and he's offered to take us (Dad, Jean, my sister Heather, Jeff, Kat, Kevin and I) rafting down Brown's Canyon on Saturday for FREE. Super great deal!! Only problem is that rafting isn't the best place for a very curious 15 month old. So my good friend Kate has graciously offered to babysit Maelin for the day.

I chose Kate to watch her because Andrew is Kate's son (Maelin's best friend) and Kate loves Maelin like I do and we've hung out this summer so Maelin is somewhat comfortable with her. I think she'll have a great time over there.

Throw a wrench in the plans...Kate suggested Maelin spend Friday night at their house so we don't have to get up at 5am to drive her up there and still meet the gang at 7am. No way! I said at first. I'd miss her way too much! Kate was very sweet and said she knew that, but it would be better for everyone to get enough sleep and Maelin would be just fine.

As I thought about it I wondered what I was worried/afraid about...I knew Maelin would be fine. She's sleeping through most nights now. If she wakes up, she usually cries for about 10 minutes then puts herself back to sleep so I wasn't worried about that. I knew she'd be well taken care of over there and she'd have a blast playing with the other kids. So what WAS I worried about???

I'd miss her. It's that simple. I didn't want her to spend the night because even though she's sleeping right now and I'm not with her, I know she's there and I can go smooth her hair or watch her sleep. I was (and still am) dreading walking by her empty room on my way to bed and thinking about how my little baby isn't in her crib.

That's a selfish reason to wake up Kate and Maelin that early. So I decided to do one of many (I'm sure) unselfish things where Maelin is concerned: she's going to spend the night at Kate and Andrew's house and I know she's going to have a blast!

Keep your fingers crossed that I don't drive myself crazy. Maybe I should up my drugs... :-)

So that's our Saturday. We won't get back into town till late on Sat night and then on Sunday morning (bright and early) we have Katey's Bridal Shower Brunch! I am very excited about this shower for a few reasons: we are so thrilled for Katey, a gay guy is her best friend, man-of-honor and he's hosting the shower at a place in Denver where a drag queen is going to wait on us!!! He went down there and hand-picked the queen himself so it's going to be a crazy fun time!

That's our busy weekend. I'll try to post pics of the rafting trip and of the shower when I get back...send some positive "you're-doing-the-right-thing" vibes my way tomorrow night!!