A Sad Day

So I'm back to work, trying to get ready for parent-conferences, getting my progress reports ready, testing all my kids and discussing the data, trying to catch up from last week, etc. when something horrible happened.

One of our Para-professionals (a teacher-helper person...they work really hard and are really dedicated to the kids and generally live in the community) has two kids: a Junior and a Freshman. Both boys go to the local high school and they've lived here all their lives so everyone knows them. Our para loves her boys and is always talking about them...even though some of us had never met them, we felt like we knew them because we knew what classes they were taking, who they were dating, what they did over the summer, etc.

Last Friday, our para got up to come to work and she looked outside and her 15 year old had hung himself from a tree in their backyard. She ran out and got him down, but it was too late. He was barely alive and brain dead. They took him to the hospital and then took him off of life support on Friday night. He had successfully killed himself and hadn't even really left a note. The only note he left was for his girlfriend: what she was supposed to do with some bracelets.

I can't even imagine the horror of that. Not only has this wonderful family lost their youngest son, but now they have to live with the fact that he killed himself and they don't even know why. What do you say? What do you do? I can't imagine anything worse than that.

I went to the viewing yesterday after work to pay my respects. It was horrible. Almost the entire high school was there: they were all crying and asking themselves why no one had seen how desperate this poor boy was. I saw my friend and her husband and gave them both a hug and told them I loved them. What else can you say? I told her that I was comforted by the fact that her baby is now watching over all of us and she gave me a tearful smile and said he was up there watching over all the kids of her friends and family to be sure this never happens again. I can only hope that's true.

How does someone get through something like that? I saw the older brother there: imagine what he's going through now. He's an only child now: he'll have that to live with the rest of his life.

The funeral is today and I have to be honest: I'm somewhat glad I couldn't take another day off to go to it. I don't know that I could handle it. The raw emotion that will be there might just throw me for a loop. I was rocking Maelin to sleep last night and I was thinking that just 15 short years ago, my friend was rocking her little baby boy to sleep and thinking how perfect and wonderful and magical life was now that he was here. I wonder what she thinks now as she goes into his empty room and looks around.

They've cut down the tree in the backyard and they're going to plant a rose garden in the spring. I'm sending them a gift card to buy some roses for it but that seems like such a small thing to do. All we can do is be here for her and let her talk or cry or whatever she needs.

I wanted to post this story as a wake-up call that our kids can be troubled and we can have no idea. My friend has always been such an involved parent: I can't imagine the "what ifs" she'll be facing for the rest of her life. If we can all get involved with a kid: doesn't even have to be our kids, maybe we can stop this from happening again.

In case you're interested in learning more, here is a link to a wonderful article about suicide prevention. Incidentally, Colorado has a very high suicide rate...one of the highest in the country.
http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/consumer/10213.html