I can play any instrument. I'm not saying that to brag or boast, it's just the way I've always been. I took about 2 years worth of official piano lessons when I was a kid and I was in orchestra, jazz, concert, and marching band, and played for years in the Boulder Youth Symphony as a teenager. I was a very informal piano teacher for about 4 years, and I can harmonize pretty well. My singing voice isn't fantastic (as my karaoke proves), but I can carry a tune. I've taught myself pretty much every instrument (including the snare drum!)...minus the guitar. I was able to teach Italian kiddos in Milan and Bologna, Italy how to sing in English, and how to perform and dance. I even have a music note tattoo on my ankle. It's always been my passion and my love and most people who know me, have seen an example of two of how music has affected my daily life.
There's a reason I've never mastered the guitar. My brain just does not understand chords, tonalities, and intervals. There's a reason I failed my college math class and had to change my major. I'm just not wired that way. But...I've got three weeks to prove myself wrong.
Our music teacher is very unofficially gone. I was able to conduct the elementary music program in May for our school and I got rave reviews, even though I only had 2 days to work with the kiddos. I was so frustrated at my lack of control: if it had been up to me, the kids would have done a musical study (Oklahoma!, My Fair Lady, The Music Man, Sound of Music, etc.), and done a collage of songs and dances from those. We just didn't have time. I would have taught a few of them to play simple piano selections. I would have composed recorder music for others. I would have thrown in some sign language. Can't do much of that in two days though...but those are my dreams. Especially for our population of kiddos: music and art and dance is so important for them and it's been breaking all of our hearts that the kindergarten kids cry before music class because they don't want to go. That's not the way it should be.
So I have been officially asked to apply for the music teacher position in our school. I'd be teaching 6 classes a day: one each for K-5th grades. I'd love it. I'd really miss my 2nd grade team, but imagine what I could do! We'd have talent shows. I'd teach everyone simple piano songs. We'd compose our own music on the xylophones. We'd learn square dances. We'd watch ballet and compose the music for them. We'd learn about instrument families, composers, dances, theater, and we'd have twice-yearly shows. I'd even try to teach strings/woodwinds after school for the 5th graders (brass instruments are not my speciality). Most of all: I'd make it fun. They'd learn so much and for some of them, it'd be the highlight of their day. Even special needs kids can learn rhythm or appreciation for classical/jazz/big band music.
There's just one problem: in order for me to accept the position which has been enthusiastically offered to me, I need to pass the Colorado State Place Music K-12 Licensure Test. Did you catch the problem with that? I'd be teaching K-5: this test covers everything through 12th grade. That's all music theory and history. That is such an incredible amount of information that, A) I either never learned or just absorbed through my own self, or B) I need to learn because I never heard of it in my life, or C) I never understood it to begin with.
To give you an idea of some of the stuff I need to know, click this link. It's incredibly overwhelming and is almost enough to make me even not want to try. Add to that: I only have one chance to take and pass this test before the beginning of the school year. June 25. I get back from Italy on June 24. Anyone else see the problem with that? I'm already starting to hyperventilate.
I've bought two music theory/history books and I've started plugging through them. I can honestly say that all of it sounds familiar, but I probably only really know about 30% of it. The rest I'm guessing at. And not even very well. I've been taking the practice tests and they are just serving to tell me everything that I don't know. If I were to take the test now, I think I'd get about a 40% on it. That is not passing.
But I'm going to try. My mom would want me to at least try for it. All my friends and co-workers especially think I'd be awesome at it and they really want me to at least try. So I'm taking my music theory (which is boring as hell, btw) books with me to Italy. I'll read them on the piazza's with a cappuccino. I'll read them in the evenings when Maelin is asleep. Before I start summer school, I'll spend the Tues/Thurs that she's in school at the library studying as hard as I can. Then I'll come home and take the insane test where they play me 20 seconds of a classical piece and I have to explain who the composer was, if it was pre or post baroque style, what key it's in and why, and many other things. I'll have to analyze different selections and explain them. I'll have to compose different pieces according to a prompt with proper key, functions, time signature, and placements. And I have 3 weeks to learn all this.
I'll keep you posted. I'm not super hopeful, but everyone around me says I'd be awesome at it and try my best. That's all I can do.
EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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